Those Over Cliche Fanfictions!
by Tomecia
Summary: Yeah, what happens when Ron and Hermione fight and make out? When Harry blushes? When Draco winks seductively? It's all here in this one shot fic!


A/N: Yeah, I've become madly obsessed with parodies. This is a joke. I'm not trying to make fun of anyone with this. ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter. You've read these millions of times. You know the deal.  
  
Let's get it rollin'  
  
Harry Potter: The amazingly HOTT guy who manages to blush every two seconds!  
  
Hermoine Granger: Also extremely hot and tends to read books and slap Ron at the same time!  
  
Ron Weasley: The idiot who always says the wrong thing the to Hermione!  
  
Draco Malfoy: A Slytherin that all the Gryffindor girls find hot! A cold and sadistic bastard!  
  
[Boarding the Hogwarts Express]  
  
-Harry goes to look for Ron and Hermione. He finds them snogging passionately in the back of the compartment.  
  
Harry: [blushes]  
  
Ron: Shit, Hermione, yo' tongue is HOT!  
  
Hermione: Ahhh! Shut up! [slap] You are such a bastard! [runs off randomly…to some unknown place in the Hogwarts Express]  
  
Ron: Aww, crap, she left again!  
  
[Later that train ride]  
  
Draco: Weasley-the poor pureblood! Granger-The Mudblood! [winks seductively at Harry]  
  
Harry: [blushes]  
  
Weasley: [punch!] And you begin to wonder why all of that slash is written?  
  
Granger: [starts to cry at this horrible insult] Ron!! Save me, save me!  
  
Ron: From what?!  
  
Hermione: Oh hell, like I give a bloody damn. [jumps Ron and starts making out passionately]  
  
[At Hogwarts]  
  
Random Slytherin Girls: Ohhh, Harry! You're so frickin' HOTTTTTT!  
  
Harry: (oh you guessed it) [blushes]   
  
Ron: Harry, I'm surprised you haven't shagged any of those girls. Some of them are pretty hott!  
  
Hermione: GOD, RON! YOU STUPID PRICK!! AM I NOT HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? [storms out of Great Hall]  
  
Ron: Aww, shit! I lost her again! She'll dump me soon, won't she? HARRY? STOP BLUSHING!!!  
  
Harry: Idiot, the blushing is the part that gets all the girls.  
  
Ron: Oh yeah, sorry mate.  
  
Harry: [blushes]  
  
More girls giggle and swoon.  
  
[At Quidditch Match]  
  
Harry: I will get the snitch! As always! [cheeks go red because it's so cold out]  
  
Draco: AS IF!! IT'S MINE! ALL MINE!  
  
[Harry and Draco begin fighting. Draco ACCIDENTLY grabs Harry's area.]  
  
Draco: Ohhh. The feeling is so EXHILERATING!  
  
Harry: [blushes, In an attempt to get Draco to not notice the blushing] Stupid, fag! Get off of me!  
  
[snitch appears out of no where and conveniently lands in Harry's hand!]  
  
Random Commentator: AND THE WINNER IS GRYFFINDOR! 12443-10!!!  
  
[At Common Room]  
  
Hermione: [crying]  
  
Ron: Hermione, what's wrong?  
  
Hermione: I broke…A NAIL!!  
  
Ron: Oh no! [cues the fake drama music] Want me…to fix it?  
  
Hermione: Oh baby! That's all I ever wanted from you!  
  
Ron and Hermione start making out passionately, and somehow end themselves in the Astronomy Tower.  
  
The common room bursts into cheers and catcalls.   
  
[Random Time]  
  
Harry: Hey, guys!? That girl is really hot, but she's a Slytherin!! What should I do?!  
  
Ron: Aww..shit! She's SO hot!! Fuck, I'd do her right now!  
  
Harry: Shizzle.  
  
Hermione: [storms off from common room]  
  
Ron: You know, Hermione-that stupid bitch. She needs to develop some more confidence in her femininity. What's wrong with saying that girls are hot? WHAT. HUH WHAT?  
  
Harry: Why is this fic not centered around me??? GOD! I'M THE BOY WHO LIVED!!! WHO CARES ABOUT YOU AND HERMIONE!!  
  
Ron: Oh geez, sorry mate! I wasn't even thinking.  
  
Harry: Holler, bitch! You best watch what the fuck you be saying to me! I pwn thiz fuckin' shiznit series.  
  
Ron: [busts out 1997 rap music] Holler!  
  
[End of the Year]  
  
Harry: Shit, guys! I can't believe the year is over! We've had some good times!  
  
Ron: Yeah, I must have made up with Hermione 10,000 times before I proposed to her!  
  
Hermione: Three statements. Harry blushed a total of 1,237 times. Ron and I broke up and made up 2,657 times…and Harry?  
  
Harry: [blushes] hmm?  
  
Hermione: What ever happened to Voldemort?  
  
Harry: OH YEAH! I HAVE TO GO AND FIGHT HIM NOW!! I'LL BRB!  
  
[Voldemort is defeated]  
  
Celebrate good times, c'mon!  
  
And the cast of Harry Potter is all dandy and great.  
  
The End. 


End file.
